January 2011
11 posts
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Reason enough! →
The Singaporean arm of communications agency IRIS have created the funniest recruitment ad ever, disguised as an old-school HTML joke page (complete with corny keyboard music that automatically plays when the page is launched — remember those?) where readers can click on the logo of the agency they have decided to ‘leave’ to conjure an instant resignation letter.
On the...
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Chris Tucker's best role, bar none.
Ruby Rhod: Korbennnn Dallaaaaas! Here he is, the one and only winner of the Gemini Croquette contest! This boy is fueled like fire! So start melting ladies, cos the boy is hotter than hot -- he's hot, hot, HOT! Right size, right build, right hair, right on. Right ON, right on! And he's got something to say to those 50 billion pairs of ears out there. Pop it, D-man!
Korben Dallas: ...Uhm... Hi...
Ruby Rhod: Unbeliiieeeeevable! Quiver ladies, quiver; he's gonna set the world on fire, right here from 5 to 7, you'll know everything there is to know about D-man... His dreams, his desires, his most intimates of intimates. And from what I'm looking at, intimate is the studmuffin's middle name. So tell me, my man, you nervous in the service?
Korben Dallas: ...Uhm... Not really...
Ruby Rhod: Freeze those knees, my chickadees, cos Korben's in the place and he's on the case. Yesterday's frog will be tomorrow's prince of Phloston Paradise! Hotel of 1,001 follies, lollies, and lickem-lollies, and I'mma be looking forward to nonstop wine, women and cootchie-cootchie-coo! All night long, all night long, all night!
Serious Eats: 26 favourite sandwiches in NYC →
I die!
“Whenever a road bully in a giant gas-guzzler cuts me off, I mutter under my...”
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Me: Sheeeee haaaad dumps like a truck, truck, truck; Guys like what, what, what; Baby move your butt, butt, butt... I think I'll sing it agaiiin! She had dumps like a truck, truck, truck; Guys like what, what, what, All night long!
RK: ...
Yen: ...
Me: You know you want to.
RK: ...
Yen: ...
Me: It's inside you... growing... GROWING! IT'S GONNA BURST!
Yen: Sigh... Let me see that thoooooong.
RK: When are you going to Hong Kong again?
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I know I said 'hiatus' but I couldn't resist this...
Mom: YEN! Why is the bathroom floor ALL WET?
Yen: Well, I'm not super absorbent like you are, so the water tends to splash off of me instead of seep into me, so whenever I take a shower in the tub, at least SOME water will collect on the floor next to the tub. Duh.
Me: Oh my god you did not say that.
Mom: WHAT DID SHE SAY?
Me: She said that you're super absorbent. MOM IS SUPER ABSORBENT!
Mom: I'm what? Super absorbent?
Me: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.
Yen: I meant... No, never mind what I meant.
Me: YEN HOW DOES WATER SEEP INTO MOM?
Yen: Yeah. Never mind.
WatchSomeone told me my music collection comprises of mostly ‘wrist-cutter tunes’.
My wrists are clean, my dashboard well-tapped and my glasses, prescription. So I think I’m in a safe demographic to keep listening to this stuff.
(‘Strange And Beautiful’ by Aqualung.)
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Me: Mom, it's almost 3am. I think you should go to sleep--WHY are you watching Hellboy?
Mom: It's an interesting movie.
Me: Ah. I guess now it appeals to 55-year-old Chinese ladies who make weekly flower arrangements for their church.
Mom: It makes funny noises.