Technically Tumblelog

Among the many reasons why women need to bitch about men.

Thu, 16 May 2013 14:51:00 +0800

A: you know how a lot of guys like to promise stuff
A: but don't care if the promise pans out or not
A: some guys tell me i should date them because of this or that awesome situation they are offering
A: but they're not describing a current situation -- they're describing an ideal situation they haven't achieved yet
A: Someday! A house! A beautiful car! A swimming pool! Children! Weekend trips to Greece! Making money in some easy relaxed way when really it's like we're on vacation forever!
J: What!?
A: i HATE that
A: unless they're talking about a very pragmatic plan they are going to achieve this future with
A: i.e. i've invested in a very promising stock and if that works out i'll start looking at property
A: at least that makes sense
A: at least i can evaluate that kind of statement with things like, 'invests. thinks property should be next step.' Yeah.
A: it's like I could say, "Someday! I'll be a michelin-grade chef who spoils my husband and children with delicious wholesome food! And stays trim and gorgeous without surgery! And gives daily blowjobs!
A: PLEASE FIND ME ATTRACTIVE BECAUSE OF THE ATTRACTIVENESS OF THESE UNREALISTIC DREAMS I HAVE JUST DESCRIBED
J: hahahaha
J: if anyone says that it just passes through my head
J: on the other hand, if they said, we should run away together, go to this tiny village in the philippines. grab enough to get a small shack on the mountain with a chicken coop.
J: we could look after chickens for a living and home school our kids
J: now that, my friend, is more doable
J: than say "on vacation forever"
A: they know i'm not a chicken coop kinda girl so they say things like we can live on a vineyard
A: vineyard. oh my god.
A: literally nothing to do but have sex and squash grapes all day.
A: wine. sex. wine. sex.
A: come to think of it this is a MAN's fantasy
A: why do they think women want to live on a vineyard?
J: hahahahaha
A: i want to go to that vineyard for like a fortnight and then GO THE FUCK HOME TO THE CITY
J: wait let me explain
J: neither am i a chicken coop sort of girl
J: but at least i can give that marks for economical possibility
J: btw given 3 months of breastfeeding and squishing?
J: squishing gets old REALLY quickly
A: ahahahahaha
A: do men ever do this to you
J: of course not
J: i spend a lot of time with accountants
J: or finance guys
J: they have no creativity
A: it's not really creative is it? so because it's not creative it's like they think they're the only ones
A: like they look around at everyone thinking "none of you wish to retire FABULOUSLY! I am the ONLY ONE!" or something
A: "I CAN IMAGINE THINGS. SO PICK MEMEMEMEEEEEE FOR SEXY TIMES"
J: do you call them out on this shit?
A: i totally do
A: i'm like, i'll bet you've got a lot saved up if that's your goal
A: and they'll be like, actually i'm still trying to save up
A: me: oh? how much do you manage to save up every year? say this is a goal for what, 10? 15? 20 years down the line?
A: do you even know how much you need to save up to retire in europe?
A: and they start sweating
A: and hopefully after that they stop trying to pick girls up with that ridiculous make-believe game
A: that, or change the rules so that they only try it on girls with IQ's below 70

D: Plans for the weekend?

Wed, 15 May 2013 21:09:00 +0800

D: Plans for the weekend?
Me: Thought I toldja
D: Wrestling practice at my place?
Me: Wow
Me: Wow
Me: Oh wow
Me: I kinda like laugh-coughed
Me: Has that line ever worked on anyone in the history of man's existence?
D: Worth a try.
Me: Look
Me: Wouldn't you rather spend all your time and effort trying to get into a scantily-clad size 0 who barely speaks English?
Me: It's the Hong Kong Expat Dream
Me: (TM)
D: Aha
D: I've already had that dream
D: Not bad actually
Me: So great it left you hankering for a snappy size 4 with OCD who never shuts up?
D: I'm sure you wouldn't talk as much if you were preoccupied with something else
Me: Congratulations! I officially find this conversation disgusting!

Photo

Mon, 06 May 2013 17:30:25 +0800

Blue-balling. It's what platonic straight friends of the opposite sex are for.

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 21:28:00 +0800

Me: How's the new Kowloon pad?
D: I'd say you're welcome to sleep over but you'd get too excited
Me: You're just after the ginormous boost of street cred you'd get for being seen taking a girl like me home
D: Can't blame me for trying.
Me: Stick with the 8's. You can't handle the 10's.
Me: Don't go chasing waterfalls.
Me: etc
D: I refuse to stick with the 8's. Leave it up to the girl to decide if she's too good for you.
Me: Let me explain something to you about females
Me: We're ALWAYS too good for whichever guy we're with
D: hahaha
Me: thing is, how hard he tries to make it up to us
D: It's great here. Beautiful view. Great location.
Me: Not to mention, Temporary arrangement.
D: Sometimes temporary arrangements are the best
D: I did offer you a place to sleep and breakfast
D: what more could you want?
Me: Wow
Me: You're like the prince from all those fairy tales my mother used to read to me
D: I know
D: Usually a guy this good has to be gay. But I'm not.
Me: Counter offer: Travel back to North Point, just to do my dishes
Me: good god they're piling up
D: I'm out
D: But if you want free stuff you can take what you want from my old apartment on Wednesday
Me: I don't remember seeing anything cool in your house except a TV and I'm pretty sure that's off limits
D: Plates?
Me: ...Okay maybe. Plastic or ceramic?
D: I don't know the difference. The breakable type.
Me: Bingo.
D: How about towels?
D: Cutlery?
D: Underwear I don't need?
Me: Hahahaha
D: I mean it. Come sleep over. There's a Spanish place nearby with great breakfasts
Me: What do they serve for breakfast?
D: Spanish food.
Me: Right
D: And this apartment is a swell place! The aircon doesn't work so well. So you can't wear much when you sleep. But apart from that it's the best.
Me: That. Wasn't a sleazy thing to say at all.
D: I was warning you.
D: It was a nice thing to say.

“Things do end, and you want them to end when we’re running...

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 18:21:28 +0800

“Things do end, and you want them to end when we’re running through the finish line and not limping to it and not vomiting or pooping ourselves. You have to muster the maturity to leave it. But we’re all going to be a mess.”

I miss you guys so much!

“What a majestic fat bird.” Voiced by the delightful...

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 17:55:00 +0800

“What a majestic fat bird.”

Voiced by the delightful Stephen Fry (with Alistair McGowan as ‘dodo’). Follow the cause here.

nationalpostsports: The race was in London, but the thoughts of...

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 15:41:15 +0800

nationalpostsports:

The race was in London, but the thoughts of many were with another city.

Thousands of runners who took part in the London Marathon on Sunday paid tribute to those killed and injured in the Boston Marathon six days earlier. Participants paused for a moment of silence in the beginning, many wore black ribbons on their chests as a sign of solidarity, and two runners finished carrying a banner that read “For Boston.”

The mood was festive, defiant — and the surging crowds who turned out on the glorious spring day to line the route roared enthusiastically.

“It means that runners are stronger than bombers,” said Valerie Bloomfield, a 40-year-old participant from France. (Photos: Leon Neal/AFP/Getty Images, Peter Macdiarmid/Getty Images, Chris Jackson/Getty Images)

Can’t. Stop. Staring. At. Growing...

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 18:09:47 +0800

Can’t. Stop. Staring. At. Growing Chocolate.

awesomephilia:

INFINITE CHOCOLATE! (via)

10 Photos: Bristol

Mon, 25 Mar 2013 22:11:14 +0800

Pie Minister

Noah's Ark Zoo Farm

Noah's Ark Zoo Farm

Noah's Ark Zoo Farm

The Arch

Stanton Drew Stone Circle

Clifton Suspension Bridge

Downtown Bristol

Sunset on the ports. near SS Great Britain

H, looking a bit like James Frain here x

10 Photos: Bristol

The funniest conversations you'll see on Tumblr

Fri, 22 Mar 2013 19:35:06 +0800

The funniest conversations you'll see on Tumblr:

Happy Friday!

thedailywhat: Parody Ad of the Day: A Cure for Post-Traumatic...

Fri, 01 Mar 2013 11:41:10 +0800

thedailywhat:

Parody Ad of the Day: A Cure for Post-Traumatic Harlem Shake Disorder

Are you a victim of the 2013 internet dance craze? Do you need to move on with your life? Shaky Grove Treatment Center will help you overcome the challenges of Post-Traumatic Harlem Shake Disorder (PTHSD). This parody ad was created by Schlepp Films.

neil-gaiman: James McAvoy as Richard - Natalie Dormer as Door...

Fri, 01 Mar 2013 10:34:33 +0800

neil-gaiman:

James McAvoy as Richard - Natalie Dormer as Door - David Harewood as Marquis - Sophie Okonedo as Hunter - Benedict Cumberbatch as Islington - Anthony Head as Croup - Bernard Cribbins as Old Bailey - Romola Garai as Jessica - Christopher Lee as Earl of Earl’s Court [x]

Radio 4’s adaptation of ‘Neverwhere’ beginning March 16, 2013

Yup. That’s the cast all right.

Let me play you the music of my people.

Thu, 07 Feb 2013 15:10:51 +0800

Let me play you the music of my people.

This is how preschoolers in Malaysia are taught to mimic...

Mon, 04 Feb 2013 11:26:42 +0800

This is how preschoolers in Malaysia are taught to mimic elephants.

Me: When I'm feeling down at work I flick through your photos on my phone.

Mon, 04 Feb 2013 11:25:00 +0800

Me: When I'm feeling down at work I flick through your photos on my phone.
H: The photos I have of you on my phone, I shouldn't flick through at work.
Me: Don't you keep any of the decent ones?
H: No.
Me: WHAT.
H: I'm joking.
Me: I'm not sure that you are. And I'm not sure if I should be flattered.
H: I really was joking. I still have the pictures of Ireland, for instance, and the dim sum restaurant.
Me: How come I don't have any indecent photos of you?
H: Um.
Me: You're not holding up your end of things... No pun intended.

Photo

Mon, 28 Jan 2013 16:49:12 +0800

jtotheizzoe: Little Pink Aliens This is Hutt Lagoon, a salt...

Sat, 26 Jan 2013 10:38:30 +0800

jtotheizzoe:

Little Pink Aliens

This is Hutt Lagoon, a salt lake in western Australia that looks like a scene from another planet. Photographer Steve Back noticed its odd pink hue from the air and captured this gallery of stunningly alien waterscapes.

The really cool part is why it’s pink and red. This lake has such high salt concentration that it’s almost devoid of life. The key word there is “almost”. An algae called Dunaliella salina is able to survive in the salty environment by producing the chemical glycerol, a viscous substance that helps it not get pickled by the brine. The pink color comes from the algae’s high beta-carotene concentration, a pigment they produce in order to protect themselves from intense sunlight as these shallow pools evaporate in the Australian heat.

It’s a similar tale of algae and pigments as the story of why flamingos are pink. I think they’d have a field day at this rose-colored buffet. It’s proof again that no matter how harsh or inhospitable we view an environment, evolution’s powerful, creative hand can mold a creature able to live there. As long as a few basic ingredients for life exist, life will exist.

(via Co.Design)

FORGIVE ME SIR, FOR I MUST GO.

thedailywhat: We Must Dig Deeper of the Day: Student Expelled...

Tue, 22 Jan 2013 10:49:17 +0800

thedailywhat:

We Must Dig Deeper of the Day: Student Expelled For Finding Bug in School System

Ahmed Al-Khabaz, a 20-year-old computer science student at Dawson College in Montreal, Canada, was expelled last week for apparently reporting and doing a follow-up check on a major bug that he had found in the school’s student information system earlier last October. Upon initial discovery, Al-Khabaz met with the Director of Information Services and Technology François Paradis, who thanked him for his work and promised Omnivox’s distributor, Skytech, would fix the error.

Two days after this meeting, Al-Khabaz tested Omnivox to see if the fixes had been made. Minutes later, he received a phone call from Skytech’s president who accused Al-Khabaz of orchestrating an attack against the system and threatened him with jail time if he didn’t agree to sign a non-disclosure agreement about the bug. When Al-Khabaz reluctantly signed the documents, he was promptly expelled for “unprofessional conduct,” barring him from enrollment at any other college in the region.

… what’s going on here?

Apparently some people were generous enough to grant Sharifah...

Mon, 21 Jan 2013 18:21:00 +0800

Apparently some people were generous enough to grant Sharifah Zohra Jabeen an uninterrupted platform to clear the air. So she had at it, with a supposedly pre-written speech.

Here are my Cliff’s notes:

This is supposed to be YOUR apology, not a speech of YOU forgiving a girl who did nothing other than participate in a debate, and yet you spent the majority of this statement drawing out how you have been mistreated for your conduct
If you think your speech(es) did any favours for the ruling government you are SORELY mistaken
Angry respondents to your actions did not damage the credibility of your “NGO” SW1M. YOUR ACTIONS damaged the credibility of SW1M
You’re bewildered that you’re now a local phenomenon featured in remix videos, comedy acts, on T-shirts, etc, instead of a pledge that wasn’t mentioned in the video?
Honey you are asking us to leave this alone because it’s meant to be between you and Bavhani, but you started bullying Bavhani by rallying the crowd while you yelled at, belittled and steamrollered all over her
Bavhani, being a young student and a minority, having to tolerate your loud, merciless tear-down in a hall packed with Bumiputera peers, is our image of “an innocent woman”
I doubt watching Parts 1, 2 and 3 would rationalize your behaviour in any way
You being a mother is irrelevant
Nothing about your issue is relevant to baby dumping, HIV, rape, LGBT’s, Selangor’s water crisis, etc — but I guess we didn’t expect the woman who equates educational reform to animal welfare to stay on-topic
Muslims have found your actions offensive as well
If you deeply regret dragging UUM into this issue, WHY ARE YOU NAME-DROPPING SPECIFIC IINDIVIDUALS FROM UUM?
“Heinous” is pronounced “HAY-NUHS”
“Reiterate” is pronounced “REE-IH-TUH-RAYTE
Your apology to all Malaysians was rendered meaningless by your previous statement that UUM is the only party deserving of your sincere apology
Please ask an educated adult to help proofread your speeches in the future. A few shining excerpts:
“SW1M; IN SHORT, pertubuhan Suara Wanita 1 Malaysia.”
“This kind of act of forgiveness are also extended…”
“The harsh, insensitive, offensive YET vulgar…”
“…and I will read to you what was the pledge read…”
“…hatred created for some, by some, for whatsoever reason behind it.”

In short, she took this valuable opportunity to prove that even with a planned speech, her English really is that terrible, she thinks we’re all meanies and she did nothing wrong, and she thinks the only reason we took offense is because we are against the ruling government and Islam.

Backstory

newsweek: Here is one of the letters a child wrote to President...

Thu, 17 Jan 2013 13:23:42 +0800

newsweek:

Here is one of the letters a child wrote to President Obama asking him to take action on gun control.

Also, that P.S.

Technically Tumblelog

Among the many reasons why women need to bitch about men.

D: Plans for the weekend?

Photo

Blue-balling. It's what platonic straight friends of the opposite sex are for.

“Things do end, and you want them to end when we’re running...

“What a majestic fat bird.” Voiced by the delightful...

nationalpostsports: The race was in London, but the thoughts of...

Can’t. Stop. Staring. At. Growing...

10 Photos: Bristol

The funniest conversations you'll see on Tumblr

thedailywhat: Parody Ad of the Day: A Cure for Post-Traumatic...

neil-gaiman: James McAvoy as Richard - Natalie Dormer as Door...

Let me play you the music of my people.

This is how preschoolers in Malaysia are taught to mimic...

Me: When I'm feeling down at work I flick through your photos on my phone.

Photo

jtotheizzoe: Little Pink Aliens This is Hutt Lagoon, a salt...

thedailywhat: We Must Dig Deeper of the Day: Student Expelled...

We Must Dig Deeper of the Day: Student Expelled For Finding Bug in School System

Apparently some people were generous enough to grant Sharifah...

Apparently some people were generous enough to grant Sharifah Zohra Jabeen an uninterrupted platform to clear the air. So she had at it, with a supposedly pre-written speech. Here are my Cliff’s notes:

In short, she took this valuable opportunity to prove that even with a planned speech, her English really is that terrible, she thinks we’re all meanies and she did nothing wrong, and she thinks the only reason we took offense is because we are against the ruling government and Islam.

newsweek: Here is one of the letters a child wrote to President...

Apparently some people were generous enough to grant Sharifah Zohra Jabeen an uninterrupted platform to clear the air. So she had at it, with a supposedly pre-written speech.

Here are my Cliff’s notes: